Mar
20
Give Comfort To Those You Leave Behind
March 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Some time ago I had written an article called “Coping with Grief after the loss of a loved one.” It was received well by a lot of you. I never thought that when I wrote that article just how much it was going to affect me. I lost two very good friends over the course of six months. I was very hurt. It left an empty void in my life. If you have ever lost someone you really care about I know that you have felt the same way.
Some people may take the attitude that when they die that nothing else really matters. That, undoubtedly is true. However, if you take a look at how you felt after you lost someone, be it a marriage partner, friend or relative that you deeply cared for, you know the deep hurt and pain you felt and the desperate desire to see them, the denial of acceptance of their loss, the anxiety, and the loneliness. Please, if you have any compassion for the ones that you care about, especially close friends and relatives and your wife or husband, please do not let them go through the pain you and I have gone through.
Sudden death either by accident or crime can cut you off from the ones that you care about and leave you in a hopeless state. You can do something about this. Prepare a written document along with pictures, make an audio or video disc, assure them that you cared about them by simply saying to them the things that you think would mean something to them. Then when they are hurting they can always refer to what you have done.
Let them know that you care and assure them that even though you are no longer there that they meant something to you. Talk about past events that you shared together. Remind them of times when you may have had disagreements and made up with them. Let them know that if you have ever forgiven then about any misunderstanding or any other matter that you really meant it and that all was well and that you are okay with the issue. Speak with kindness, frankness, in some instances, sternness. and most of all be understanding. In other words give them hope. Tell them that when they do certain things, are at a special place that you have shared together, or are feeling a certain way that that is when you are there in spirit with them.
Remind them of happy times that you spent with them and even recall something humorous. Have someone help you to prepare a disc. If you would rather keep it private make a cassette. Even play a favorite song or a sentimental song at the beginning or the end. If it is a special friend or relative say something special just for them. Put some special things in a box or a scrapbook, seal it and sign it with a special note for them. If you have a bank volt or personal safe include it in your will that these special people in your life should receive these items upon your death.
We have lots of men and women now going into the military and fighting overseas. Please heed this advice. Leave your loved ones something before you depart. Parents and other relatives please give your departing loved ones something to take with them so that if they should loose you that they will have something to give them hope and comfort also.
Be good to the ones that you care about. Do not leave them hopeless. Give them comfort to fill that empty void you have left in their lives. Don’t you think that they deserve it?
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